The Kitchen Bitch Asked, and I Replied

All work and no play makes for a very dull girl, and it’s been a rather hectic couple of days, so time to have some fun with the excellent meme I found at Eryl’s blog, here: http://thekitchenbitchponders.blogspot.com/2010/02/dont-scratch.html

And what does Eryl require of us? Via Pat, "to name three classic movie moments that made me buy things, do things, or think things that maybe I shouldn't have."

Not sure I've stuck precisely to the question posed, but still, here's my three.

The first is the car of my dreams – Mad Max’s Interceptor.


When most people of Mad Max, they think of Mad Max 2, but the original Mad Max was a very low budget Australian film which starred Mel Gibson before he was a Braveheart hero or a drunken, police-baiting racist villain. At no point will I be mentioning the travesty that was “Beyond the Thunderdome”.

The actual car started life as a standard 1973 XB GT Ford Falcon Coupe, a car exclusive to Australia. Then, in 1976, film makers Byron Kennedy and George Miller began pre-production on Mad Max. They needed a vehicle to feature in the film as the black police 'Interceptor' - a high performance, evil looking Australian car.
Around the same time, Murray Smith was hired on as part of the Mad Max crew. One of his tasks was to put together the Interceptor, and he started by acquiring the 1973 XB Falcon. Then Murray, along with Peter Arcadipane, Ray Beckerley, and various others, proceeded to modify the car to what was needed for the film. The main modification is obviously the Concorde front end, and the supercharger protruding through the bonnet (which is for looks only). The Concorde front was a fairly new accessory at the time, designed by Peter Arcadipane at Ford Australia as a showpiece, and later becoming available to the general public due to its popularity. The car also received quite a few other, more minor modifications, to complete the package. There was only ever one black interceptor built for the first Mad Max.

Following the production of Mad Max, the car was no longer needed, and was modified once more to make it suitable for use as a standard road car (basically by removing the blower and the side pipes). It was then toured around Melbourne to shopping centres, car shows and so on as part of the promotion done for the film.
Following this promotional work, the car was finally put up for sale. Luckily, no one bought it.

In the mean time, this low budget Australian film had gained worldwide success, prompting a sequel. The same black Interceptor was acquired back by Kennedy Miller for use once more.
The blower and pipes were put back, although different to the originals, along with changing the rear wheels. The car was further modified to fit the setting of the new film, with large gas tanks fitted in the back, and its general appearance given a more used and stressed look.
The front end was also modified by removing the bottom section, probably to give more clearance at the front in the outback locations it was required to be driven in for the second film.
In addition to modifying the original car, a duplicate car was also put together for Mad Max 2. It seems that the duplicate car was used for most of the driving sequences, while the original car was used for all the close ups and interior shots.
When eventually the story required for the black Interceptor to be destroyed in a spectacular crash and burn-up sequence, the duplicate car was used, leaving the original more or less intact. After avoiding scrappage, the actual car had a varied history and now resides in… wait for it… Keswick in the Lake District. It really does.

I have actually seen the original car, which is in the frankly bizarre 'Cars of the Stars Motor Museum'. We went there on a wet day (when is it not raining in the Lake District?), the small boys were four, and they were frankly terrified by the “Batmobile” exhibit (the first thing you see on entering); however, we made it round the rest of the exhibits (truly exciting stuff, like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Munster's Koach, Mr Bean's Mini, FAB 1 (really, made for the premiere of the first Thunderbirds film), KITT, etc. )

And then my heart stopped. There was the Interceptor, the actual, real, Max Mad and Mad Max 2 Interceptor. I so wanted to touch it, but although the museum was very quiet, it was a bit awash with CCTV cameras. I still did it.

As the obviously bonkers collector and owner of the museum says; "This is the one and only Mel Gibson’s Mad Max Police Interceptor. Any others are obviously fakes. I wouldn't part with this car for a million Australian dollars simply because it is such an important car, although I hope someday it will return to its native lands because it is a big part of Australian history".

Why do I lust after the car so? Well, I don’t actually want the real thing, obviously, I just want a car that looks like it and goes like shit off a shovel. And to be the lone hero in desolate land of baddies is no bad thing either. Basically, the Interceptor is a down and dirty car that does one thing – goes fast. What more could any woman want?
I realize I’m going to have to content myself, one day, with a Chrysler 300, black and the biggest engine size please. Deep inside, I’m just a petrol head. Eco-credentials = 0. But don’t worry folks, we’ll never be able to afford one.

So to the next. Well, where else but;

I can’t say it was the film entirely that made me want to become a nun. But it sure helped.

Having been at a Convent school for several years before I saw the film, I already knew it was what I wanted to do. Nuns had cars (Sister Aiden). Nuns had jobs, even when they were bent over with age so that all they could see were their own sandal-clad feet (Sister Gertrude, school cook). Nuns were Headmistresses even when they had the kind of arthritic hands children can’t take their eyes off (Sister Xavier). Nuns had unspellable names (Sister Aloysius – never got her Christmas card right in seven years). Nuns had uniforms. Nuns knew stuff, loads of stuff, and did holy and mysterious things and you never saw their hair (did they have hair?).

But best of all, nuns had no men to look after. I watched my mother, 365 days a year, feed and wash and clean up after my father and four brothers, who merely had fun up the slaughterhouse or at market all day. They never lifted a finger in the house. A house with no men to look after in it seemed like the ultimate dream.

And then I saw The Sound of Music and realized that nuns also giggled, sang like angels and sabotaged the baddie Nazi's cars! What other career choice would an intelligent seven-year old make?

And I defy anyone to watch the scene that culminates in that sublime moment when the Mother Abbess sings “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” and not want to be as wise and wonderful as she is, and then dissolve into tears once the singing starts.

Maria: I left...I was frightened...I was confused, I felt, I've never felt that way before. I couldn't stay. I knew that here I'd be away from it. I'd be safe...I can't face him again...Oh, there were times when we would look at each other. Oh Mother, I could hardly breathe...That's what's been torturing me. I was there on God's errand. To have asked for his love would have been wrong. I couldn't stay, I just couldn't. I'm ready at this moment to take my vows. Please help me.

Reverend Mother: Maria, the love of a man and a woman is holy too. You have a great capacity to love. What you must find out is how God wants you to spend your love.

Maria: But I pledged my life to God. I pledged my life to his service.

Reverend Mother: My daughter, if you love this man, it doesn't mean you love God less. No, you must find out and you must go back.

Maria: Oh, Mother, you can't ask me to do that. Please let me stay, I beg of you.

Reverend Mother: Maria, these walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.

The worldly-wise Reverend Mother then sings the inspirational: "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" to encourage Maria:

Climb ev'ry mountain, search high and low

Follow ev'ry byway, every path you know

Climb ev'ry mountain, ford every stream

Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream

A dream that will need all the love you can give

Every day of your life for as long as you live...

Peggy Wood, who plays the Mother Abbess, had been a major stage star, playing the lead in the original Broadway production of Naughty Marietta in 1910. This was Peggy Wood’s final screen appearance, and her singing voice was dubbed by Margery McKay. In her memoir, "I Could Have Danced All Night", Marni Nixon (who herself famously dubbed for Audrey Hepburn, Natalie Wood and Deborah Kerr and who actually got a screen role in The Sound of Music playing Sister Sophia) related that Peggy especially liked Margery McKay's voice because it sounded like she did when she was singing.

Anyway, after my nun phase my next choice of profession was vet, I ended up as a cop and then a mum. I am now a mere acronym, a VSS. It appears I am drawn to any profession with three letters.

And so finally, to the legend that is Garbo.

Whilst I love all her films, my favourite is Queen Christina, which has a very convoluted plot but basically involves Garbo dressing as a man quite a lot, having to promise herself in marriage to someone she doesn’t want to for the good of Sweden, then falling in love with a Spanish diplomat, Antonio (played by John Gilbert, whom Garbo insisted upon for the role). Gilbert does not see through her disguise initially, and after a lot more politicing and love and a glorious revelation scene in which Gilbert arrives at court to meet the Queen and sees the woman he’s just spent the last two nights in an inn making love to, there is more politicing and Christina decides to abdicate. John Gilbert duels and dies in her arms and the final scene sees Christina sailing for Spain to see her love’s homeland and then the world. This scene is probably one of her most iconic, because her features never move and she acts with her eyes alone.

Now, why Garbo? For her eye-make up, of course. I have faithfully copied the technique used by the Hollywood make-up artists for Garbo’s eyes in the 20's and 30's for the past 25 years.
Probably the best indication of how they did it is in the scanned photographs below.


When I was younger and vainer I used a brush for both eye-liner and the lid sweep, but these days I have resorted to eye-pencil for the last bit as it’s quicker, though not as effective (and smudges too easily).

And lest you think air-brushing is a modern phenomenon, they had it cracked more supremely in the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s when the Hollywood studios were churning out publicity shots of their stars. Not only were the negatives etched by incredibly talented artists and technicians, the original print was then also worked on. I don’t know if you’ll be able to see clearly enough what’s been done in this photograph of Bette Davis, as I had to scan it, but bear in mind on the left-hand side the negative itself has already been etched.

Best quote is probably that of the great Hollywood photographer Frank Hurrell, who handled his own retouching. He worked with Marlene Dietrich for many years, and reminiscing about their last collaboration said;
“Years later, when she was performing in nightclubs, I did a sitting with Dietrich. She was the same polite, concerned woman. Her bone structure still took the light as it had in the old days. But when she returned the proofs to me, they were marked all over with fine lines, indicating what should be removed by the retoucher. She shook her head sadly. “You don’t take pictures like you used to, George.” “But Marlene,” I said, and also shook my head sadly, “I’m fifteen years older!”

And for a final reminder of the Flesh and Fantasy that is film, here’s Garbo before Hollywood got to her, straightened and capped her teeth, straightened and dyed her hair and, most obviously, plucked her eyebrows.

She did, however, end up looking more magnificent than any woman, before or since.

Thanks Eryl, and Pat, I enjoyed that!