"It Must Be In The Water", Scientists Conclude

The bizarre "publication" outbreak is continuing in the small Scottish village of Penpont.

The latest victim has been named as Thomas Arthur Choate, 106, whose book, "The Empathy Machine" first appeared in print five days ago.

Scientists have been investigating the phenomenon, known locally as "Prinfluenza", for over a year now. Initially suspecting a virus, their investigations yielded nothing until a rash of secondary symptoms, known as "readings", began to appear during the summer months.

As Dr. Vernon-Brown, leader of the Thornhill University medical team, explained,

"We thought we had made a major breakthrough; all those who exhibited "readings" had been in contact with a Hugh McMillan, who became our "patient zero. Further research showed us that McMillan has, in fact, been infected with publication for years. "

However, as the team began work on the latest victim their hopes were cruelly dashed.

Dr. Vernon-Brown said yesterday,

"It appears that Thomas Arthur Choate has never been inside The Volunteer Arms; there is, therefore, no possibility that McMillan could have infected him."

The scientists are now pursuing the theory that "it's in the water." "After all", a village source revealed, "there's a lot of it about."

This outbreak puts the total number of publication sufferers in Penpont this year to five.

The village has a population of 27.

Personal Aside.

I'm afraid there's stuff happening at home in Essex, so I may be away for a few days - apologies in advance for not visiting you all.