Still, it let me get husband up early (he'd been on nights) and cook dinner, whilst I retired to bed with an ankle support and hot water bottle. Every cloud!
Aslan was definitely on the move yesterday, as a thaw had started, but the White Witch resumed her grip overnight with another two inches of snow and more this morning. But here's some ice pictures taken before the fall (both).
Ice in the burn
Ice thawing in the burn
Some ice hanging around the bridge over the Nith
And tonight, finally, I'll get around to Rachel's deep questions as basically, I can't move much. Here we go on the honesty ride...
Do you think that you know yourself in any sense? Do you care? And if you don't care...why is that?
Up to six years ago, I would have probably have answered "Yes" to that question. However, a very severe brush with post-natal depression left me questioning virtually everything I thought I knew about myself. In essence, I couldn't cope, and had to ask for help for the first time in my life (Mrs Self-Reliant prior to this). I was hospitalised for a short while, took shed loads of drugs and came out the other side, but my inability to look after two babies and the awesome significance of this certainly left me shaken and made me look at myself closer. I thought I could do anything, and everything. Of course, I was a control freak, and twins leave you with very little control over anything. I am better with disorder now. So I am wary of answering this question "Yes", because although I feel I know myself well (and yes, I care about that), things can happen where our reaction surprises us. Are you with me so far?
Do you like yourself much?
I respect myself and I value myself, but I'm not sure I really like myself. I seem to thrive on achievement, and that's like a form of self-validation. If I'm not achieving, I'm disappointed with myself. Which suggests to me I don't really like myself just as I am. (And achievement here is not connected with the public realm, just in what I do day-by-day).
What would you change about yourself if you could (and I'm talking personality...not physical changes)? And if there is something you would like to change...why haven't you just got on and changed it? What's stopped you?
My inability to do anything unless there's a gun at my back. I thrive on urgency and leaving things to the very last minute, which appears totally contradictory to the previous answer, I know. But it's a part of me, and one I like the least. I have also been given the gift of being able to "wing it" and look good, so I'm then left disappointed with how much better it could have been...
I try to change this aspect, I get planning diaries, set aside times of day to do certain things, but the bottom line must be I haven't because I don't want to. Something about the adrenalin excitement of writing a workshop at 3am and drinking that fifth black coffee when the world's asleep. Sometimes I think it's because I produce my best work under pressure, which is patently not true, but a gremlin I console myself with.
Can I have two here? I want to know more. More science, more chemistry, more literature, more history, more physics and even... more mathematics. I wanna be a polymath, except for music. Can't figure that one out, just a field I enjoy but don't aspire to. And what's stopping me on this one? Time and, I fear, intellectual capacity.
When you look in a mirror do you smile or flinch (again...it's the concept of yourself that I'm thinking about here more than your physical attributes...though they may be linked)?
Flinch, or more accurately, recoil. Most of you know the reason why, if not, see here http://titusthedog.blogspot.com/2009/08/in-response-to-stevens-meme.html
It's not my face until it's got make-up on it. Then it's OK. And Rachel, I can't see beyond the physical attributes. Still.
Do you really treat people the way you'd like them to treat you? What always?
I try, and don't do a bad job, I reckon.
Do you think you've contributed anything positive to the societies that you've lived in? Do you think that matters anyway?
Yes, and yes. I helped old ladies when I was little (shopping, cleaning etc.), have always volunteered (Samaritans, Rape Crisis), did formal public service with the Police for eleven years and have worked in the voluntary sector ever since, whilst still volunteering. I genuinely believe that if you are given health and strength, then you should. And I smile at everybody, pick up drunk people, and stop fist fights when I see them happening.
What do you find really, really difficult?
Motivating myself: (see gun at back answer above). And leaving the house without wearing make-up. Other than that, nothing. I'm great in a crisis, emergency, anything. In fact, I'm probably better in a crisis.
If you are a person who writes then why is that? Think about the reasons and which ones are the most significant to you (practising honesty to the point of death!).
Creation is achievement to me. Be it flower-arranging (I do this seriously), sculpting, painting or writing, then making something that is mine and that I think is good makes me feel good. Doing it with words is incredibly cheap and fulfilling. No desire for fame, just to write something that I look back on and think, six months later, "That is good" does the job. It doesn't happen very often, but just once in a while it does, and that's a reward I wouldn't swap a lottery win for. Kind of.
Phew, just Kat's "Seven things you don't about me" to catch up on now!
And in the passing, the boys' are emptying their money boxes for the people of Haiti tomorrow, and I humbly suggest that we all do the same.
Right, I'm taking my balloon ankle to bed. Ouch! (just stood up).
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