Catching up with Kat: Secrets and No Lies

Way back last year Poetikat gave me a blog award and asked me to tell seven things about myself you don't already know. Thank you Kat! I have, eventually, got round to the list, and with time I'll remember how to find the award bit and stick it up. But what are you hanging around here for? On with the secrets...

7 Things You Don’t Know About Me

1. New-sy One.
I have consistently ignored my part-time advisor and editor’s advice to submit poems to magazines - “It’s what real poets do” - for a number of reasons, but primarily laziness and the fact it all seems a bit of a malarkey (no online publication first unless it’s a draft, don’t submit same poem to same magazines etc. - you know the drill). However, as Le McMillan was himself in issue 1 of Gutter, the new Scotland poetry magazine, I submitted to them for the second edition (all very easy and online) and lo and behold, I got a charming e-mail to say my poem’s in it. Gutter comes out in late February or early March. And I win a free subscription for 2 years. Will I try again? I went to a very good workshop by Vivien Jones (who blogs here http://bassviol.blogspot.com/ ) about submitting etc., which was informative and inspiring, but I guess only time will tell…

2. Famous Person One.
I saw Yul Brynner live on stage at the London Palladium in “The King and I”. Yes, I know Mum and Dad bought the tickets and took us, but it still feels like quite an achievement and a bit of a privilege. Virginia McKenna played Anna. It was superb.

3. Name One.
My Mum, after uttering the immortal line “Thank God, it’s a girl” (three boys previously) wanted to call me Stephanie. My father didn’t like this, as it didn’t start with an “R” or a “J”. All our names start with an “R” or a “J”, middle ones included (Ruby for me). It didn’t take us long to work my father was playing a long game: it ultimately meant he could open everyone’s letters with impunity and plead “mistake”. We reckoned.

4. Weird One.
Someone told me, a long, long time ago, that if you throw an Alka Seltzer tablet to a seagull it will eat it, and then explode as it flies away. I ponder this at least once a week, and whenever I see a seagull.

5. Boast-y One.
I got three commendations in my police career, two from Chief Constables and one from a High Court Judge. The accumulation of superlatives in one is so good I am going to have to quote it, as I still can’t actually believe anyone ever wrote it without laughing.

“ is hereby commended for her skill, courage, commitment to duty, professionalism and outstanding teamwork in dealing with extremely violent offenders during “Operation ******” which led to the successful prosecution of serious offences of armed robbery.”

The operation concerned was the usual mixture of good luck, bad luck, hilarity, cock-ups, good work and the unexpected. And grabbing chips whenever we could - I know in America it’s donuts (sic). British Cops don't do doughnuts.

6. Confession One.
I preferred Stephen King’s The Stand to Cormac McCarthy’s The Road. Literary heresy, I know. Stephen wrote his first.

7. Too Late To Let Anyone Know But I Should Have One.
I’m running a workshop on self-publishing for the Crichton Writers tomorrow (21st). The meeting itself starts at 10.30, in room W12, Dudgeon House at The Crichton, Dumfries. The first part of the meeting will be to discuss the year's plans for the Crichton Writers, then the new Literature Development Officer (Carolyn Yates) wants to hear ideas about where D and G should be going. I'm due to start my bit at 11.15, and we finish at 12.30. And everybody is welcome! Book your flights now!

I was also going to post my poem in response to Poetikat's writing prompt, but it all got very dark and serial killer-y, so still thinking about that...